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lusty waking before the dawn

suddenly i’m aware that i’m aroused, really aroused

your skin against mine as we both lay here on a small twin mattress

that thought makes me realize that i’m awake

i can smell your pleasant man-skin scent and again my awareness is only

that we are both naked in your bed

i reach over you slowly unsure if you have awoken as well

the dawn has not quite broke through but it’s no longer black of night outside

i feel your firm member in my hand

almost painfully aware of the slickness between my thighs

i must have been having a nice dream

then an image is plastered to my minds eye

of me kneeling before you as you bury into me

and in front of me is a girl i used to know

laying before me with her wet folds on display

i lean down to lick and suckle her

your member slowly sliding in and out of my own slick folds

watching me  do a thing you so like doing

i must still be half asleep and mumbling because you begin caressing me back

oh how i wish you would touch me more there

long to have your firm member there filling me

my half dreaming continues with us and the girl and i’m unsure if i’m awake at all

you move from my side and lean over me, caressing my body

i moan softly at your loving touch

your hard member held against me

i grind against it, wanting it inside my warm depths

you finally oblige both our lust and slowly enter me

MMmmmmm

trap guised as sleep

there is a trap set for me
every day i go on and busy myself
trying to keep my mind off you
but its no use you’re all i think about
i clean and i cook
i work and i sew
but the days are getting long without you
dreadfully so
i read through the night
pushing sleep from my mind
rubbing it from my eyes
but its no use and by six AM
my eyes are barely held open
i musnt fall into the trap of it
laced so nice with pretty promises
promise of rest
promise of releasing my mind
but it never does what it promises
sooner or later i will fall into the trap again
and will once again wake and not feel rested
wake and my head still be so full of thoughts
today i manage to hold on longer
six twenty-five and i’ve not fallen yet
though my will is faltering
and i long to be able to lie with you again
to sleep in your arms again
where i may at last find rest

lost control

what did i do now
why must i always mess things up for myself
why couldnt i have stopped
i know you would have wanted me to if you had realized
“i’m close” you said so i moved you from my wetness
to another spot you like to frequent so you can safely cum inside me
your large member entering my ass
i feel how tight i am around you and the look on your face
i can tell you are enjoying it alot
the tightness sort of pinches as you slide in
though not too much pain, its certianly bearable, just not perfectly comfortable
after a few minutes you seem as your climax is slipping away
i can relate to having that same feeling
with the bit of tenderness you cant thrust the same
and my slow riding on you isnt doing the trick so i decide
i decide to feel you again inside of my pussy
i long for you there and wish to bring you close
then i will switch again and you can fill my ass with your hot cum
twitching inside of me as you spurt
but as soon as i think of that i am thrusting my pussy down onto you
and you whisper that you are about to cum
i can not let your climax slip away again and i thrust down harder on your firm member
your face tells me you’re on the edge of ecstasy as i ride you
for a split second i see the emotion on your face as your climax is about to win the battle
i cannot let you pull out
i cannot let your member free from my warm, wanting pussy
and as the thought flits across my mind of your hardness twitching inside of me as you cum
i double up my thrusts and ride you hard
i want your cum inside of me
i want to ride you through your orgasm
i want to lay there naked with you
with your member inside my soaked pussy mixed with your cum
and after our fun to lay there still and drift off to sleep
with your softening member still inside my happily full pussy
…..there must have been a telling look on my face that gave it away
you momentarily have a confused look and i say i’m sorry
i think you know as soon as i say that
i know you are going to be upset
i couldnt control myself
i feel like i’ve let you down
now you will be mad at yourself and it will be my fault
no matter the rest of our fun
I’M the one who knew you were about to cum in my pussy
you were nearing orgasm and didnt notice my switch back to my puss
i dont wish to go back and undo what i did
but i wish i could make you not mad at yourself for what i did
i dont want you to be mad at yourself because of this
at least be mad at me
i lost my control and now you are worried because of it
i love you so much
i’m mad at myself for losing control
and on top of that i cannot sleep with you and now
attempting to sleep alone in this bed is futile

in your shirt

i lay here in my bed

still shivering with excess energy

the only clothing i wear is your shirt

the vibrator laying between my legs

nuzzled up to my moist lips

still quivering with small aftershocks now and again

the blanket now only covering up to my knees

having been pushed out of the way moments ago

as my legs jerked with my pleasure

my back arched

my body awaiting your thrusts

instead i meet only the thrusts of this mechanized phallus

by means of my own arm

it does not replace you there

it only serves to dampen then fan the coals

the coals inside my core that long for you inside me

thrusting your wonderful member into my wet and waiting puss

again i twitch between my thighs as i think about you

i sigh and my mind drifts through the leftover clouds of pleasure

and i drift into a nap

thinking of how i just came

in your shirt

nonsensical

i slither as i have hooves and bleat as i have a beak

burrow the sand and sing to swine

i run as if i have fins and fly as if i had a trunk

over the woods and through the river

here we go!

thither, thither!

i wish i were

i wish i were a rainbow

to color a dreary sky

i wish i were sunshine

to dry the tear from your eye

i wish i were your bed

to hold you while you sleep

i wish i were your favorite song

so you would turn me up loud

and dance your cares away

i wish i were the wind

to tussel your hair and caress your face

i wish i were a tree

to shade you from the summer heat

i wish i were a car

to take you where you want to be

i wish i were the moon

to watch over you at night

and keep you safe as you sleep

 

dream of us

i dreamt a dream

a dream of us

i had our child in my belly, swollen and round

yet you would gaze hungrily at me still

lying in bed and you kiss and caress my protruding stomache

talk in whispers to the unborn life inside me

a single tear rolls down my cheek as i remember the dream

i promised you i would try my best not to cry

but i can neither make myself cry, nor hold it back

so i let the tear glide down my cheek

then down my neck

as i return to the memory of the dream

the room grows dim as i hold our child to my breast

you walk in, watching intently as the baby suckles

i feel so content here

crossing the room, you come and pick up the child

holding the precious life so tenderly

pausing the memory there

i feel as if i will ache to bursting with this feeling

looking at you in my mind’s eye

standing there holding our child in your arms

gazing down in awe and love

my hearts feels strangled

my throat burns with the emotions

how i wish we were together now

snuggled together, drifting off to sleep

feeling safe and happy in your arms

salutations to sorrow

today i leave you on a train heading northwest

with every turn of the wheels i feel my heart-strings being yanked at

pulled from my chest and bleeding in the sun on this pretty fall day

here the grass is still quite green and the trees erupt in colors

brilliant green against browns and oranges and reds

my heart feels rather like the blue ridge mountians i ride through now

like someone is cutting through me and laying scars

for the mountians this is long been done and now the mountians try to heal around the scars

as i know my heart will heal after time when we are together again

when you come to stay with me and my family for the holiday

celebrating thanksgiving… and you meeting my extended family

i imagine it now

introducing you to everyone as my fiance

oh how my heart flutters even through the pain of having to leave you for this time between

sitting in this train car typing i keep glancing at my ring

pretty, silver, simple, and mine

i do not care if its not super expensive or huge or fancy

plain band of silver with two intertwining hearts surrounding a small gem

it is my engagement ring and i dont need a bunch of money around my finger to love you

write on a lonely night

all these words and emotions straining against my skull

against my skin

against my soul

pulling me where i know i must go

i know the path i will take

i want to find the quickest way there

to get to where i know i will be

with you

i find myself crying now

i never used to cry

its kinda funny though because its so nice to cry

i wonder why i never did it more often

its so soothing afterward

i miss you

i feel like an amputee having ghost pains

as if i’ve lost part of myself because we are not together

and it aches… and aches

i cannot sleep til i am exhausted

all i can think of is the ache

the ache that now flows from where you fit in my heart

in my soul

i dont know how to get these emotions and words out

its only by these writings that i seem to pour off some

but it does little

just lets some pain flow away

only enough to keep the floodgates from being washed over

and i’m glad for it because the state i’m in now i hate to see what that would be!

happiness is best when shared

and i long to share all my happiness with you

i want to take the pain away that you feel there

from the scar on your shoulder

to the scar on your heart

to the scar i see when i look in your eyes

that scar i admit i dont know how i will help heal

i wish i could make you feel what i feel

to show you how much i care

how much i love you

its more then all the love of my heart

because my heart cannot possibly be that big

i love you so

but i see that scar sometimes

that scar in your eyes that says you dont quite believe it

you are waiting for me to leave you

to laugh at you and leave your heart in tatters as someone has before

i vow i will do all that i can to keep you from being hurt

and if i hurt you like that then i deserve to die a thousand terrible deaths

for you more then deserve to be loved

i only hope that i will be worthy of your love

you love me so freely, so fully

ten after four

we just made love in my bed

i wish we could lay there and not think of someone coming home

to lay there naked with you and sleep after our love making

but we must get out of bed and act like we are innocent children, even at our age

i stand and stretch as you lean over, gathering your clothes

you turn and look at me seriously

your deep brown eyes overflow with emotion

you arent crying or anything

but when you look at me like that, its what it feels like

as if your eyes were overflowing with emotion unable to be contained behind them

you reach next to you, where my promise ring sets

you gave it to me promising to love me always, no matter what

glance at the floor and bend your knee, lowering down to it

if i have any brain cells at the moment they are all running about

like they are on the titanic and just struck the iceburg

i look down at you, likely with wide eyes

are you… is this…. seriously…. i mean….

you are really….. right now…. for real….

you just look up at me so serious and nod

holding the ring and my left hand in yours

so, will you marry me?

i almost cannot speak and croak yes

lean down to kiss your lips, never want to stop kissing you

you stand up and we stand close and kiss for a few moments

you say, as of this day at ten after four we are engaged

i lean into you again

finally

lean into

my fiance

 

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